We all were so surprised, by the news of how you were found.
You were supposed to come to the garage sale today.
We wondered what was going on, but didn't expect that we would get that phone call,
saying where they found you. I want to reach out, and process this.. But I don't know who to talk to.
I don't know where to turn. My family, is the first priority right now..
but being strong and experiencing loss at the same time is not easy.
I want to have that support system that I used to, before I left for australia the first time, not to use those people for the support,
just because it felt as if I could work through so much by having their warmth surrounding me, and I wasn't responsible for being the strong shoulder to support my mom. I need to be here for her, but I wish I had a shoulder to cry on right now.
I miss having those connections. I still don't know what happened to them.
I am at peace that my past friends are moving forward in their lives, as am I, but I wonder, is this enough of a reason to reach out?
I just really could use a hug right now, from someone who I know cares.

This has been a self-centered post, but right now, that is the only thing that I cannot express is what I feel, not in person to my family.
Not when I need to be that support for my mom, my aunt.. and be strong with my brother and my uncle and cousin..
But I don't know, I wish I could talk to you girls about this. I wish I had that support, I fear that if I were to reach out, it would be too much to place on anyone's shoulders and that it would be an imposition. I don't know what to do.

The last time my mom and brother and I saw him was about 3 weeks ago, when we told him the news about turkey [our cat] passing away..  And since then, not much. It feels so surreal.


I really would love a massive hug from someone who cares, right about now.


May your body finally find rest, and may your spirit find peace. <3 <3 <3